Most of you at some time or another would have laughed yourself to the point where you thought “oh no, I think I might pee”. Laughing is great. It makes us feel good and it makes us also bond with others.
I am perfectly aware that sometimes, as with many other Autistics, the jokes aren’t always that obvious to us. Sometimes I have to just nudge Adam and say, “I don’t get it”. He always obliges and then laughter ensues, albeit a minute or two later.
Then there are times when I think something is funny, say for example when watching a comedian, but I don’t actually laugh out loud. Not because it isn’t funny, but because…well, it doesn’t require a proper belly laugh from me.
Adam in my opinion is my at home comedian. Between the two of us we would have anyone laughing in the aisles. But the real trick is to ensure that we are laughing together and sometimes even laughing at ourselves. Life isn’t just about getting through each day unscathed by the world and its happenings, but also taking the time to see the lighter side of life.
We laugh all the time at our own little inside jokes, funny things that happen around the world and even situations that we have created ourselves. In fact Adam and I are so in tuned to each other that we often laugh say the same joke or phrase at the same time, even when completely unconnected to the situation that is happening.
For example, years ago, long before the kids were in existence and we had a bit of time on our hands in the evenings, we used to play “The Sims” video game. In this game you control virtual people and take part in daily tasks to keep the character alive to create a ‘life’ for them. In the game the characters never really spoke but they did have a kind of made up language. Saying “nothing” phrases like “na-na fe-na” and “Cu-laa-ma-tan” in various situations. True to our obsessions, we played the game for hours at a time, to relax at night. Then we kind of adopted the phrases as a bit of an inside joke between the two of us.
About 2 weeks after we started playing the game we went on a little holiday to Tenerife. Anyone who has ever been on holiday aboard to a foreign country knows that second you walk into a market place the vendors are all over you like a rash. I wanted to look at the shops and see what was on offer without being bombarded with people pushing their goods in my face. So when a particular vendor tried to get us to look at his items, without a blink, Adam looked over to me and said, “Cu-laa-ma-tan” to which my only real reply, whilst trying not to burst into laughter, could be, “Na-na Fe-na”. The poor vendor looked as us in shock as I don’t think he could figure out the “language” we were speaking. Then we walked up to him and said it again in a very convincing way as though we were interested in his goods. He just tried to guess our nationality but failed and he just walked off. Down the road we just held hands laughing at the silly little thing we did and it is still a story we laugh about even to this day. It may not be funny to everyone else…but each to their own right?
While it isn’t really a big deal on the outside, it was a bonding moment for us, made us laugh, gave a story to remember and also made us realise that we spend too much time playing that game. Laughing though has a few pit falls so make sure that your chosen times to laugh or make a joke are thought through. Times not to laugh: When she is being serious, angry, showing you something that is important or during sex. The last one is very important but maybe not for the reasons you may think.